A Slytherin's Life
by Minamoto Miyuki
Summary: (REVISE) 21-year-old Terrance Higgs is unemployed and living with his parents. Poor pathetic loser. Wait- DID YOU SAY 'JOB?


A Slytherin's Life- Revise  
  
By: Minamoto Miyuki  
  
A/n: Slytherin's life is back! I'm revising it and making it better. Me and my friend who I wrote this with has been working together on 4 big Harry Potter humor fanfic projects and I felt the urge to re-write this an make it better. So here you go.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Kirby Haven. . .My friend does! Don't own Marcus Flint, Terence Higgs, Harry Potter, Or anything else involving the magical world of Harry Potter. . .J.K. Rowling is there owner and Warner Bros. Is there baby sitter.  
  
Terrance Higgs grumbled as he woke up from his mothers irate shouting:  
  
"Get up and off your lazy ass its past noon!"  
  
Terrance cursed loudly as he started to struggle in his cocoon of sheets and blankets. And screamed 'FUCK' when he fell out of bed and hit the floor with a thud.  
  
"Pants. . ." He mumbled, dazed as he began to crawl around on the floor searching for a pair of pants.  
  
He tried to stand up on unstable feet but ended up tripping on the mound of sheets "FUCK. . . .PANTS!" He shouted as he hit the floor the second time.  
  
-Meanwhile-  
  
"Only twice in 5 minutes. . . he's getting better." Mrs. Higgs said beaming with pride as she poured her husband some tea.  
  
-And back to the pathetic loser still living with his parents-  
  
10 minutes later Terrance finally found the pair of pants his mother had laid out on his dresser along with a shirt. Being the good mother she is.  
  
Once dressed, Terrance made his way out of his room mumbling incoherent things.  
  
After a battle with the cat perched on the stairs (the cat being victor) Terrance managed to make it to the kitchen where he pulled out a mug from the cupboard and poured him self a cup of coffee.  
  
"You know I don't like it when you drink that stuff. . . .you becoming dependent on it. Why not tea for a change?" Mr. Higgs suggested, taking a drink of his own tea to set that parental example. Pffft, like that ever works.  
  
Terence took a defiant sip of his coffee to prove that point.  
  
"Or not."  
  
"What no sugar?" Terence asked, finally gaining the ability of proper sentences, as he sniffed at the empty sugar cup.  
  
"On my way to work I'll pick some up." Mrs. Higgs said as she came into the kitchen  
  
"You don't work Sundays. . . ." Terence said suspiciously   
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
"Meeting my dad?"  
  
Mr. Higgs choked on his tea.  
  
Terrance: two  
  
Mr.Higgs: zero  
  
Mrs. Higgs thumped Terrance in the back of the head with the flat of her palm.  
  
Mom always wins.  
  
Terrance rubbed the back of the table and noticed the mail on the table "Mail?" He asked in a daze.  
  
"Yeah its on the table!"  
  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?!?!" He shouted as he launched himself on to the table  
  
Mr. Higgs sighed as his tea was knocked over by his 'excitable' son.  
  
"Second time this week." He said mumbling, rolling up his newspaper.  
  
"What's so important?"   
  
"WHATS SO IMPORTANT? WHATS SO IMPORTANT?I MIGHT BE GETTING A DAMN JOB!"  
  
"Terrance," Mrs. Higgs sighed "Honey listen to me! Your father and I love you but you need to face the fact that you aren't capable of getting a job."  
  
Terence wasn't listening. Not that that was very surprising, what kid listened to his parents? Even unemployed 21-year-olds didn't listen to their parents.   
  
He instead ripped open a letter that was addressed to him.  
  
Once he had smited the envelope (getting a paper cut as a 'battle wound' in the process) he pulled out a letter. After reading he let out a victory cry.  
  
"What is it?" Mrs. Higgs ask as she grabbed the parchment her son was now waving in her face like a mad man then began to read.  
  
"Golly-lolly! You did get a job!"  
  
Terrance cackled as he flew upstairs to rub it in his younger sisters face.  
  
Mrs. Higgs sighed and pecked her husband on the cheek and prepared to apparate. Right before she was about to leave her home a thought flew threw her head  
  
"Could it have been the whisky?"  
  
She shook her head. Only one glass within 9 months couldn't have done this.  
  
Mr. Higgs sat down on the couch with an exhausted sigh. Already this morning he had had to clean up spilt coffee, spilt tea, and restrained his daughter from killing her brother.  
  
Mr.Higgs looked forward to kicking his feet up and reading his paper, but the poor man couldn't sink off the feeling that that wasn't going to happen. . .  
  
"HI MR. TERRANCE'S DAD!"  
  
And Mr. Higg's sinking feeling was right, and it was in the form of a tall, burly man named Marcus Higgs.  
  
Mr. Higgs buried his face in his hands and cried.  
  
"Terrance, Terrance!" Marcus said giggling girlishly.  
  
Which looked absolutely ridiculace.  
  
"Marcus, Marcus!" Terrance said bouncing over to his friend.  
  
"I got fire whisky! Lets get plastered!"  
  
Terrance stopped, "What time is it?"  
  
" 'bout 12:30."  
  
"Good enough for me." The two took off on the muggle streets, greatly resembling a giggling gay couple.  
  



End file.
